Validation is essential for our identity and self-worth. Emotional invalidation, where someone ignores or minimizes our feelings, can have a profound impact on our mental and emotional well-being, leading to suppressed emotions, low self-esteem, and self-doubt.
In relationships, emotional invalidation can create distance and confusion, making it difficult to feel valued and understood. Recognizing the signs of emotional invalidation is crucial for addressing its harmful effects on relationships.
1. Eye Rolling
Eye rolling can be funny, but when directed at you, it can feel invalidating and disrespectful.
It’s important to limit eye rolling to light-hearted moments and avoid using it as a form of dismissal.
2. “Why Are You So Emotional?”
Many people are raised to suppress emotions, making it challenging for them to express their feelings openly.
Science shows that emotions play a crucial role in our mental health, so dismissing someone’s emotions can be harmful.
3. Using a Dismissive Catch Phrase
Using dismissive catchphrases like “I guess” can be passive-aggressive and invalidating in conversations.
Responding this way can be hurtful and dismissive, leading to emotional invalidation in the relationship.
4. “Grow Up. Stop Acting Like a Baby.”
Using language like “grow up” or “stop acting like a baby” can be dismissive and hurtful.
It’s important to be compassionate and understanding of people’s emotions, regardless of their age.
5. “Everyone Has Problems. Get Over It.”
While it’s true that everyone faces challenges, dismissing someone’s pain by saying “get over it” is invalidating and unhelpful.
Practicing empathy and sensitivity towards others’ feelings is essential for building healthy relationships.
6. Checking Phone Mid-Conversation
Being glued to your phone during a conversation signals disinterest and can make the other person feel invalidated.
If you’re expecting an important call, it’s best to communicate that at the beginning of the conversation to avoid appearing dismissive.
7. “You’re So Needy!”
Labeling someone as “needy” can be hurtful and dismissive of their emotional needs.
It’s important to recognize that needing support or reassurance is a normal part of being human, and it’s essential to respond with kindness and understanding.
8. Avoiding Discussion (Brushing Under the Carpet)
Avoiding discussing issues with others can lead to misunderstandings and emotional invalidation.
Engaging in open and honest conversations, even if they are difficult, is essential for resolving conflicts and building strong relationships.
9. “Stop Being So Sensitive!”
Sensitivity is a valuable quality that allows us to connect with others emotionally and communicate effectively.
It’s important not to dismiss someone’s sensitivity but to acknowledge and appreciate their emotional awareness.
10. Interrupting
Interrupting someone mid-conversation can be self-centered and invalidating.
It’s important to listen actively and empathetically to others before sharing your own experiences or thoughts.
11. “It Could Be Worse.”
Minimizing someone’s pain by saying “it could be worse” is dismissive and unhelpful.
It’s important to validate someone’s feelings and offer support without diminishing their experiences.
12. Refusing to “Understand” Certain Requests
Refusing to acknowledge or understand someone’s requests can be manipulative and invalidating.
It’s essential to listen to and respect the needs and boundaries of others in order to maintain healthy relationships.
13. “Loosen Up! I Was Only Joking!”
Dismissing hurtful remarks as jokes is invalidating and disrespectful.
It’s important to take responsibility for our words and be mindful of how they may impact others.
14. Ignoring
Ignoring someone is rude and can be emotionally hurtful.
It’s important to communicate openly and honestly with others, even if the conversation may be uncomfortable.
15. “I Know Exactly How You Feel.”
While well-intended, saying “I know exactly how you feel” can come across as dismissive and self-centered.
It’s important to listen actively and empathize with others without making the conversation about ourselves.
16. “I Don’t See the Problem.”
Dismissing someone’s concerns by saying “I don’t see the problem” is invalidating and unhelpful.
It’s important to validate others’ feelings and perspectives, even if we may not fully understand or agree with them.
17. Hiding Behind a Paper or Book
Using a book or newspaper to avoid engaging in conversation is dismissive and disrespectful.
It’s important to be present and attentive when interacting with others to show respect and validate their thoughts and feelings.
