Anyone who has been on the job-hunting side of an interview table (or Zoom call) knows the distinct feeling of wondering what the heck the hiring manager wants. What are they thinking? What skills do they really want in the best candidate for this role?
In decades past, responses from those hiring managers might have been about the training an ideal candidate has or the specific degree they hold. Or they simply might have been about how intelligent the candidate seemed. But now, soft skills are overtaking smarts in an uprising of emotional intelligence (EQ).
According to the Niagara Institute, 75% of employers use EQ as a gauge of an employee’s readiness for promotion and eligibility for a raise. A 2019 survey that LHH conducted found that 57% of hiring managers say their highest-performing team members also have high EQ.
“IQ is what you do (or what you can do). EQ is how you do it,” says Maggie Sass, Ph.D., executive vice president of content, research and professional services at TalentSmartEQ, a provider of EQ solutions for companies in San Diego. ”You can be the smartest person in the room, but if you treat people like they don’t matter—if you don’t demonstrate respect—they won’t necessarily follow you.”
First popularized in the 1900s, EQ isn’t a new concept. “Daniel Goleman’s [1995] book, Emotional Intelligence, shook up the business world because of the assertion that EQ was more predictive of success than IQ,” Sass says. “To me, pitting IQ and EQ against each other (or anything else, like personality) is a false binary. IQ and EQ are both important.”
Now, EQ is named third by employers in the top 15 sought-after job skills in the 2020 World Economic Forum Job Future of Jobs Report and is likely to remain at the top of the list through 2025.
So if you’re in the workforce, leading a team or thinking about applying for a job in the near future, EQ should be at the top of your list of skills to sharpen. Here’s why it matters so much now.
EQ can mean longevity in your role
Not only might EQ help you get a job, but it could also help you keep it.
“People often get hired for their technical and tangible skills but get fired because they lack emotional intelligence,” says Sara Canaday, leadership development expert and author in Austin, Texas. She points to skills such as “self-regulation, empathy, social fluency and interpersonal skills” as key indicators of EQ.
It’s a teachable and learnable trait
It’s impossible to change someone’s IQ, and nearly impossible to change their personality, but EQ is teachable to some extent, which is an attractive trait to future bosses. “EQ is the most moldable. You can isolate specific behaviors, work on them, develop them and see the impact of those changes,” Sass says. “Your traits cascade down into behaviors, which arguably are changeable, and many of them are so hard-wired, so autopilot, [that] they can be really hard to pivot to more effective behavior.”
The willingness to learn and improve your EQ and having the awareness that it’s even a trait you can work on might just make for a great response to some of those tricky interview questions.
Companies with high-EQ employees cultivate healthy workplaces
“Employers are beginning to value EQ as a foundational element of effective leadership because it helps to improve employee engagement [and] organizational health and it creates an environment in which employees have psychological safety,” says Joelle Moray, therapist, speaker and author in Wheeling, West Virginia. ”Many large brands across a variety of sectors are beginning to include EQ as part of their leadership development programs, emphasizing empathy and communication.”
She also shares that some workplace wellness programs are refocusing on employee mental health and how it translates to job performance and long-term company commitment or tenure.
Higher EQ might lead to more awareness around mental health at work and more positive interactions between colleagues as well. “We have all worked at companies where culture is not important, and we have all left those companies because they’re boring, rigid [and] risk-averse, and you feel like an unimportant cog in a wheel,” says Tim Duba, co-founder and CEO of Protekt, a liquid supplement and sunscreen company in Fort Worth, Texas. A great workplace culture isn’t something a company can fake, he says—you either have it or you don’t.
How to improve your EQ
Sass says you should focus on the following if you want to learn more about improving EQ:
- “Self-awareness: Quit treating feelings as good or bad. Feelings can be negative or positive (or anything in between), but they aren’t good or bad. They are a signal, a data point. They give you an opportunity to reflect on what is happening.
- Self-management: Breathe right. To flood your brain with oxygen, take slow, deep breaths. Inhale through your nose until your stomach grows tight, and then exhale gently and completely through your mouth until your lungs are empty. Take two deep breaths when you: 1) wake up, 2) begin work, 3) head home and 4) go to sleep.
- Social awareness: Greet people by name. Make this month the time to practice saying, ‘Hello, (name),’ to one person each time you are in a group setting. Be sure to use the person’s name later in conversation as well.
- Relationship management: Take feedback well. Listen and really hear what is being said. Ask questions and ask for specific examples to better understand the person’s perspective. Thank the person and absorb the information before deciding your next steps.“
According to Pamela Barnum, a former undercover drug enforcement officer, federal prosecuting attorney and non-verbal communication expert, the acronym “SOME” is also helpful for remembering strong EQ skills:
- S: Smile genuinely or neutrally
- O: Open posture and positioning
- M: Mirroring, “a subtle technique to create rapport—and my No. 1 undercover technique”
- E: Eye contact—though Barnum notes you should use this one only where appropriate, as some cultures differ on feelings toward eye contact
Remembering Barnum’s “SOME” acronym, combined with Sass’ practical daily actions, should improve your EQ in no time, making you not only a more capable and effective employee but also a more balanced human being.
This article originally appeared in the January 2025 issue of SUCCESS+ digital magazine.
Photo by Dragana Gordic/Shutterstock
