Eli Itzhaki’s locksmith business, Keyzoo, was booming and fully focused on scaling—adding more trucks, optimizing routines and hiring new technicians. Amid this growth, Itzhaki had to dismiss a technician for chronic lateness. It was only when the technician broke down during the exit interview that Itzhaki discovered the real reason behind the employee’s tardiness: a severe family issue.
“I missed the human element,” says Itzhaki. “That moment made me realize I had been managing the business as if it were a machine, not understanding the real challenges my team faced. That was my wake-up call that EQ isn’t optional. It’s foundational.”
Emotional Intelligence, or EQ, is key to effectively leading a team. It’s the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, while also recognizing and influencing the emotions of your team. Leaders with strong EQ can better handle stress, resolve conflicts and make thoughtful decisions. EQ in leadership drives higher team performance, improves employee engagement and enhances overall workplace satisfaction.
“EQ in leadership is about more than just being empathetic,” Itzhaki says. “It’s about cultivating a deep understanding of what drives each individual on your team and being aware of the subtle cues that signal when things are off. In our industry, we often deal with customers in high-stress situations—locked out of their homes, worried about security after a break-in or handling a lost car key. If the team is carrying their own unaddressed stress, it can spill over into these customer interactions.” That’s why, he notes, EQ isn’t just about making the workplace pleasant. It’s directly tied to the quality of service and a brand’s reputation.
Telltale signs of weak emotional intelligence
Recognizing weak EQ is crucial for leaders who want to improve their effectiveness. “Leaders who underestimate or dismiss the value and relevance of the interpersonal skills that comprise EQ are the ones who struggle to lead successfully,” says Laura Crandall, founder of the management consulting firm Slate Communication and the author of Working With Humans. “Emotions can feel unpredictable and surprising, which is why they are often seen as operationally inconvenient or unnecessary. But we work with humans, and emotions are part of the deal.”
Leaders with weak EQ may miss important social cues or fail to empathize with their team, creating a work environment that lacks trust and psychological safety. Understanding these red flags is the first step in building stronger emotional intelligence and fostering a more positive and productive workplace.
1. Red flag: High turnover
Consistently high employee turnover is a strong indicator that something is wrong with leadership, and emotional intelligence could be at the root of the problem. When leaders fail to connect emotionally with their team, employees may feel undervalued, unsupported or disengaged. This often leads to dissatisfaction, burnout and, ultimately, higher turnover as employees seek better work environments elsewhere.
The Fix: Check in with your people. “It’s important to recognize that EQ needs to be measured just like any other business metric,” Itzhaki says. “We send out anonymous surveys every quarter asking the team to rate their sense of being valued, understood and supported.” One of the surprising insights from one of his own surveys, he says, was how he was seen as “intimidating” in certain situations—something he hadn’t considered because he always thought of himself as approachable. “This feedback has pushed me to be more mindful about how I communicate under stress and to show vulnerability, like openly admitting when I’m having a tough day.”
2. Red flag: Disappearing feedback
When feedback from your team becomes scarce or nonexistent, it’s a sign that employees no longer feel comfortable sharing their thoughts or opinions. This can happen when leaders consistently ignore or dismiss feedback, creating an environment where team members believe their input doesn’t matter. Over time, this leads to disengagement and a lack of open communication.
The Fix: Make an effort to connect with your employees by finding out what they do, what they are concerned about and what’s important to them both at work and outside of it. Cheryl L. Mason, chief catalyst of the Catalyst Leadership Management consultancy and author of Dare to Relate: Leading With a Fierce Heart, implemented walk-arounds in the office space prepandemic, allowing her to engage with employees.
“At first, they were cynical, but they quickly accepted the walks and looked forward to talking to me about ideas, concerns or life beyond work.” When the pandemic hit and people were forced inside, Mason set up small group meetings, established virtual office hours and reached out with one-on-one check-ins. “In these meetings, we did not talk about work, we talked about life challenges we were all experiencing,” she says.
3. Red flag: Transactional teamwork
When your team members work with one another in a purely transactional manner, it indicates a lack of emotional connection and engagement, says Henry Criss, CEO of the Fraum Center. For instance, if you hear phrases like “That’s not my job,” it’s clear there’s a transactional mindset at play in your team. On the other hand, teams with high EQ are collaborative, saying things like, “Sure, we can do that. Let me get Kelly to help.” This is more than just attitude, Criss notes. “It’s reflected in the performance, revenue and overall results.”
The Fix: Foster a culture of collaboration by creating opportunities for team bonding and open communication. Encourage cross-functional projects where team members need to rely on one another’s expertise. “When onboarding, one of the first things I discuss is relationships,” says Criss. “From my experience in sports and organizations, the best teams aren’t always the most talented; they are the ones with technical skills combined with strong, relational bonds, all pulling in the same direction. That’s what I look for and evaluate.”
4. Red flag: Temperature taking
If your team is constantly gauging the “right time” to deliver tough news or ask for something, it’s a clear sign they’re concerned about your potential overreaction. When employees feel the need to monitor a leader’s emotional state before addressing important issues, it creates an atmosphere of caution and fear. This can lead to delays in communication, unresolved problems and a lack of transparency, as team members avoid speaking up or addressing critical concerns at the right moment.
The Fix: Work on improving your EQ. “Regularly reflect on your feelings during different situations and identify how they influence your decisions and actions,” advises Richard A. Smith, managing partner of Benton + Bradford Consulting and workforce expert, speaker, coach and consultant to Fortune 500 companies. “No one is asking leaders to be robots. However, it is important for leaders to manage their emotions to effectively respond to situations instead of blindly reacting.”
He recommends practicing pausing before responding in emotionally charged situations, thereby allowing for time to assess the situation objectively, as well as developing techniques such as deep breathing to manage stress and stay calm under pressure.
5. Red flag: Culture of blame
A culture of blame is another big indicator of lacking EQ in leadership, says Crandall. “If teams shun responsibility and/or interest in finding solutions when problems arise, it is a sign that there isn’t enough emotional awareness and psychological safety in the organization to take risks and solve problems.” If you’re leading a blame-focused organization, it is a sign that you may be, perhaps unwittingly, a source of the problem. When this happens, your team will avoid bringing issues, concerns or ideas to you, leading to a lack of trust, fear of negative reactions or the belief that an employee’s input won’t be valued.
The Fix: Cultivate approachability by creating an open-door policy and actively inviting feedback. Smith cautions, however, that it’s important to remember that when a manager says, “My door is always open,” it makes it the employee’s responsibility to seek out the leader. “Reject this passive policy. Remember that trust is built over time. You can make deposits in people’s bank accounts by being there regularly and authentically.”
6. Red flag: Low morale
A decline in team morale that goes unaddressed usually points to low EQ in leadership. When the office becomes tense or creativity and engagement suddenly drop, it often means the leader is missing the emotional undercurrents at play. “If leaders feel like they are dreading leading or if the spirit of an organization is low, unfocused or spiraling towards cynicism, it’s a big red flag that the subjective, emotional and intuitive—the humanity—is missing from their leadership,” says Crandall.
The Fix: Learn to listen—and well. “Listening is a verb, an action that takes skill and focus,” says Smith. “It is an essential facet of emotional intelligence competencies that leaders need to succeed and rise higher.” After his mother passed away, Smith’s supervisor came into his office and said, “I still have both my parents, so I can’t really identify with how you must be feeling right now. But how would you like us to handle this situation in the office? We want to be there for you.” Smith says this exchange allowed him to respond in the way that felt right to him, not to uphold some societal expectation that he couldn’t be human in the workplace and should mourn privately.
The biggest mistake leaders make with EQ, says Itzhaki, is thinking it’s about being soft. “It’s not. It’s about being astutely aware of what’s happening under the surface and being proactive in addressing it.”
Photo from fizkes/Shutterstock.com
