When you lead with value, Nick Schlekeway writes, sales become more about service, allowing you to build trust and long-lasting relationships.
March is Marketing and Branding Month here at Inman. As we enter spring selling season, let’s explore which tried-and-true tactics and cutting-edge innovations are getting deals done in today’s market. We’ll also recognize the industry’s marketing and branding leaders with Inman’s Marketing All-Star Awards.
For many real estate agents and entrepreneurs, selling feels uncomfortable. I’ve heard it countless times: “I know I need to prospect and market my business, but I don’t want to come across as too salesy.”
But here’s the thing: some of the most admired and successful people in the world — Oprah Winfrey, Richard Branson, Elon Musk and Barack Obama — are all, at their core, incredible salespeople. They don’t succeed by manipulating or pressuring people into decisions; they succeed because they influence, inspire and offer real value. So if being “salesy” means emulating the best in business, leadership and influence — why are so many people afraid of it?
Let’s break down what selling really means and how you can do it in a way that feels authentic, natural and, most importantly, effective.
Sales is about giving, not taking
One of the biggest misconceptions about sales is that it’s about convincing people to buy something they don’t need. That’s not selling—that’s manipulation. True sales is about helping people solve a problem, make a decision, or improve their situation.
If we look at the origins of the word “sales,” we find something interesting. The Old English word sellan literally means “to give.” At its core, selling isn’t about taking — it’s about giving. Giving knowledge, giving solutions, giving guidance. When you shift your mindset from “I have to convince someone to buy from me” to “I have the opportunity to help someone make the right decision,” sales stops feeling like a chore and starts feeling like a service.
Think about the best experiences you’ve had when making a purchase. It didn’t feel like you were being pressured; it felt like you were being guided toward something you already wanted. That’s how real sales should feel.
People love to be sold (when it’s done right)
There’s this idea that people hate being sold to. But let’s challenge that.
Every year, people spend billions of dollars on things they don’t necessarily need. Why? Because when the experience is positive, exciting, and valuable, people love to buy. When sales is done right, it doesn’t feel like selling — it feels like clarity.
The problem isn’t that people hate being sold to; they hate feeling pressured, lied to, or treated like a number. If you focus on building trust, being honest, and guiding people toward the best decision for them, you’re not “selling” — you’re serving.
Actual sales doesn’t involve bullying, manipulating, or tricking people. It involves understanding their needs, providing solutions and making them confident in their choice. That’s what the best salespeople do, and that’s why people love buying from them.
If you don’t want to be ‘salesy’ … then don’t be
If your fear of being “salesy” is stopping you from marketing your business, it’s time for a mindset shift. You’re not forcing anyone into something they don’t want—you’re showing up with expertise, solutions, and value.
People don’t dislike sales. They dislike:
- Being lied to
- Being pressured
- Being treated like just another transaction
So don’t do those things. Instead:
- Lead with honesty and integrity.
- Focus on solving problems, not just closing deals.
- Treat every client like a relationship, not a number.
If you’re still hesitating, ask yourself: Is it really that you don’t want to be “salesy,” or is it that you’re afraid of rejection? Too often, ego is the real obstacle. The fear of being told “no” keeps people from putting themselves out there. But the truth is, the most successful people are the ones who embrace sales as a tool for service and growth.
If you’re an agent, an entrepreneur, or anyone in a client-facing business, selling isn’t optional — it’s part of what you do. But the good news? You get to decide what kind of salesperson you are.
When you lead with value, sales stops being something you “do to people” and starts being something you do for them. And that’s the difference between the salespeople people avoid and the ones they trust.
Nick Schlekeway is the founder of Amherst Madison, a Boise, Idaho-based real estate brokerage. Connect with him on LinkedIn.
