Just about everyone has worked with a Complainer at least once in their career. You know the type—always criticizing upper management, predicting the company is going down the tubes, saying not enough money is spent on advertising, etc., etc.
According to Will Bowen, author of A Complaint Free World, the average person complains between 15 to 30 times a day. Even if you try to ignore the Complainer at work, they constantly pollute the atmosphere and wear down the enthusiasm of the other employees.
At first glance, a simple solution is to have a heart-to-heart conversation with the Complainer about your concerns, and if that doesn’t work, start the dismissal process with written warnings.
But this solution is not so simple if the Complainer is also the Superstar. Perhaps he or she is your top salesperson or is constantly coming up with creative ideas. Or they can recite the tax laws backwards and forwards. Maybe they developed the software the company depends upon and is the only person who knows how to debug it. Then the decision is not so clear cut. Should they stay or should they go?
Managing the complaining star employee
At the risk of your Superstar becoming defensive, your first step is to have a conversation with them about the constant complaining and how it creates a toxic work atmosphere. Steve McClatchy, an expert in conflict resolution, a consultant for the Fortune 1000 and author of the new book, Leading Relationships: Build Meaningful Connections, Eliminate Conflict, and Radically Improve Engagement, suggests what to say and how to say it.
“Every work problem usually falls into two categories: a broken agreement or a person who doesn’t know how to do something,” McClatchy says. “Complaining all the time to the wrong people who can’t do anything about a particular issue is a broken agreement in the workplace. Ask the employee in private, ‘Would you be open to an insight to help you move forward and be more successful?’”
Assuming the answer is “yes,” McClatchy advises to say, for instance, “Instead of giving feedback to the person you’re complaining about, you complain to people who can’t do anything about the issue, even if it is a legitimate grievance. Do you notice you do that? I never want to see that get in the way of your success.” He notes that you should keep “absolutes” out. Avoid sentences like, “You always complain” or “You never have anything positive to say.”
If the employee responds, “Well, that other department stinks at what they do,” suggest giving that feedback to the people in charge in a diplomatic way, McClatchy advises. “[Then] ask, ‘Can I count on the fact that you’re not going to complain anymore? This may be an issue you have to tolerate, or decide to part ways with us,’” he says.
“If the complaining behavior continues, now you have a broken agreement and the employee needs to be held accountable,” he says. “Say, ‘I need your help with something. We agreed you would stop complaining to people who can’t do anything about it and you are still doing it. Is this something you can tolerate without complaining or do we need to part ways?’…. If they don’t apologize and even if they are the Superstar, you may have to start the documenting and dismissal process. At the end of the day, you need to decide if the negative impact of their behavior is greater than the positive impact of their job performance.”
Weeding out the chronic complainer
Spotting a chronic Complainer before they join your team is a good idea. Workplace communications expert, Jon Gordon, whose books include The No Complaining Rule and bestseller Difficult Conversations Don’t Have To Be Difficult, says, “I always advise my clients to tell everyone during the interview process, ‘We have a no complaining rule here. If you are a Complainer, this is not the right place for you unless you can also come up with a solution.’”
Other ways of dealing with complainers
In addition to having a discussion with the Complainer, here are some things to think about or try:
- Actively listen to the complaint before dismissing it as “whining.” Perhaps the Complainer has a legitimate grievance or one that can be fixed fairly easily.
- Encourage your star performer to suggest a solution to their complaint before you respond.
- Many times the Complainer gets an audience because employees are left in the dark about what is going on in the company. “Complaining often happens whenever there is a void in communication and the negative fills it,” Gordon says. “If you frequently communicate with everyone to let them know the bad and the good, the Complainer will have less of a reason to complain and employees will be less willing to listen to them,” he adds.
- Load the Complainer up with work so he or she does not have time to go around and vent to everyone.
- Give lots of praise and positive reinforcement for the times when the Complainer has good things to say. “Don’t say ‘but’ or deliver negative feedback at the same time as the positive,” McClatchy says.
And most importantly, make sure no employee is the only person who knows how to do something. There should be written policies and procedures for every single task in the company with cross-training. No employee is irreplaceable, and if you decide the bad outweighs the good, don’t hesitate to show the Complainer the door.
Photo by fizkes/Shutterstock.com
