Fostering a Vibrant Workplace Culture Through Intentional Conversations

Imagine a workplace where every conversation strengthens relationships, sparks innovation, and fuels a sense of belonging. Sound too good to be true? It’s not. By prioritizing meaningful dialogue – conversations that go beyond the surface and tap into our shared humanity – organizations can unlock a powerful competitive advantage and create truly thriving cultures.

What’s the ‘Dialogue Deficit?’

Esther Perel, renowned psychotherapist and relationship expert, has been primarily known for her work helping couples develop deeper levels of trust and connection. Her work began working with refugees in situations of voluntary and forced migration. As she traveled the world and witnessed the rise and fall of political regimes, her curiosity drew her to exploring how this played out in the kitchens and bedrooms of families affected by the decisions of others. Her work shifted to a focus on the dynamics of couples and their sexuality.

It may seem like a radical shift for her to now focus on conversations in the workplace. However, the core of her work has always been human centric. Perel elaborates that, “

My work has focused on relationships – from the bedroom to the boardroom – for decades. I counsel couples, but I also frequently work with Fortune 500 companies, co-founders and HR companies like Culture Amp.”

As workplaces faced with an ever-increasing rate of change, increased ambiguity of how people navigate the diverse perspectives and needs of one another and AI rapidly removing the more tactical side of roles and responsibilities, knowing how to connect at profound and meaningful levels is more important than ever before.

She shares that, “Something essential is often missing: genuine connection. We’re drowning in digital communication, yet many workplaces are experiencing a drought of meaningful dialogue. Quick Slack messages, transactional emails and surface-level video calls have become the norm, leaving employees feeling isolated, disengaged and lacking a sense of belonging.”

This ‘dialogue deficit’ isn’t just a cultural issue; it’s a business one. According to recent research by Gallup, people want purpose and meaning from their work. They want to be known for what makes them unique. This is what drives employee engagement. As Perel notes, “Relationships at work are often seen as soft skills, but in fact, they are the new hard skills. They require trust, belonging, recognition and collective resilience.”

How Do We Bridge the Gap?

Embedding meaningful dialogue into the way business and performance are done isn’t about touchy-feely exercises or forced bonding. It’s about building a foundation of deep and authentic trust. This requires levels of self-awareness, vulnerability and platonic intimacy that traditional workplace cultures often shy away from.

The complexities of human nature are often deemed too messy or difficult to navigate. While coordinating resources through surface-level connections can achieve a certain level of productivity, organizations seeking to engage their workforce for innovative solutions, complex problem-solving, and integrated operations must be prepared to dive into the deep end of human relationships.

To assist with effectively bridging this gap Perel has recently partnered with the employee experience platform, Culture Amp. Together they have created a card game, “Where Should We Begin? – At Work.” These data-backed story cards are designed to transform workplace culture based on the four pillars of trust, belonging, recognition and collective resilience. It provides a simple and structured approach to enabling meaningful conversations in one-on-one dynamics and team settings.

It enables teams to move beyond surface-level topics such as “How are things going?” or “What can I help you with?” by posing deeper questions that serve the dual purpose of building connection while promoting self-awareness. With questions like, “What are some unspoken rules or norms on our team that need to be addressed?” or “What impact do you hope to have on the team or organization?”, the dialogue becomes a storytelling adventure. Perel highlights, “A good question does that. It disrupts a pattern. It goes deeper. Sometimes, it goes sideways. It enables us to travel to a new place without ever leaving one another’s side.”

Using these cards to create a foundation for dialogue, leaders are more prepared and enabled to prioritize other aspects of shifting towards a human-centric workplace that includes:

1. Fueling Psychological Safety – As Perel highlights, “Psychological safety is foundational to sustaining high performance.” When employees feel safe to take risks, share ideas and be vulnerable, innovation flourishes, and problems are solved more effectively. Meaningful dialogue creates the conditions for this safety to emerge.
2. Boosting “Collective Resilience” – Perel’s research with Culture Amp revealed a key pillar of workplace relationships – collective resilience. “When hard things happen,” Perel asks, “will we join together? When we face challenges are we stronger as a group? When something goes wrong do we support each other and coalesce, or do we place blame and fracture?” Meaningful conversations build the bonds that allow teams to weather storms together.
3. Unlocking Human Potential – By fostering deeper understanding and connection, meaningful dialogue taps into the full potential of your workforce. Perel advises that, “When employees feel seen, heard and valued, they’re more likely to bring their whole selves to work and contribute their best ideas.”

Culture Amp data shows that employees who have been able to sustain high performance for two consecutive cycles or more in a row have a specific advantage at work: psychological safety. According to Amy Lavoie, Vice President of People Science Experience at Culture Amp, employees who sustain high performance are 83% more likely to say things like “I feel safe to take risks” and rate statements like that 9% higher than those who got a high performance rating once and weren’t able to sustain it. When we invest in human connection sustainable high performance is more likely to follow.

How Can We Develop Our Conversation Comfort Levels?

It can be intimidating to move beyond surface-level interactions, but small steps can make a big difference. Here are some practical tips for building your comfort and skill levels with deeper conversations:

1. Start with Curiosity: Approach conversations with genuine curiosity about the other person’s experiences, perspectives and values.
2. Listen Actively: Focus on truly hearing what the other person is saying, rather than formulating your response. Pay attention to their body language, tone of voice, and underlying emotions.
3. Share Your Own Stories: Vulnerability begets vulnerability. Be willing to share your own experiences and challenges, creating a space for mutual understanding and connection.

What Is the Leader’s Role in Shifting a Culture through Dialogue?

Leaders play a critical role in fostering a culture of open communication and meaningful dialogue. Here are some practical tips for enabling these conversations within your teams:

1. Model Vulnerability – As Perel suggests, “Leaders should also be answering questions and sharing insights that make them more relatable and human. To reshape the company culture, leaders share stories of who we are and the moments that shaped us.” Vulnerability is critical for leaders to demonstrate it’s safe to be human on the job.
2. Create Structured Opportunities – Schedule regular team meetings or one-on-ones that are specifically designed for dialogue, rather than just task updates. The Where Should We Begin? At Work card game is a great to that that is specifically designed to be easy to use during these sessions to foster trust.
3. Normalize Opting Out – Recognize that not everyone will feel comfortable sharing deeply personal information at work. Normalize the idea of opting in. As Perel states, “Skip a question if it doesn’t feel right – not every card is for every person or every moment. If nothing comes to mind, simply pick another card.” Allow the employee to drive which questions are used, ensuring they get to decide the level of vulnerability they are prepared to engage in.
4. Start with Safe Questions: Begin with lighter, more general questions to build trust and rapport before delving into more sensitive topics.
5. Focus on Listening: Encourage team members to prioritize listening and understanding over offering advice or solutions. The aim is to create a space for empathy and support.

By prioritizing meaningful dialogue, organizations can cultivate a culture of trust, resilience, and innovation. It requires intention, effort, and a willingness to challenge the status quo. But the rewards – a more engaged, connected, and high-performing workforce – are well worth the investment.

Perel reminds us that, “All of the relationship skills you built in life don’t just disappear when you walk in the office door; we carry our skills and relational challenges with us in our unofficial resume. This makes the workplace a particularly interesting place to explore relationships.”