A study comparing people in monogamous relationships with those in non-monogamous ones has found that both types are on par insofar as relationship and sexual satisfaction are concerned. It suggests the need for greater recognition of and respect for diverse relationships.
For a long time, monogamy – the practice of maintaining a single, exclusive sexual and/or emotional relationship – has been the social norm in the West and the standard by which all other relationships have been judged. Whether influenced by culture, religion, or morals, monogamous relationships are often perceived as “normal.”
However, a new study looking at relationship and sexual satisfaction across a range of relationship types has questioned monogamy’s dominance and demonstrated that other relationships can be just as satisfying.
“Monogamous relationships are often assumed to offer greater satisfaction, intimacy, commitment, passion, and trust than non-monogamous ones,” said Associate Professor Dr Joel Anderson, the study’s lead author and a principal research fellow at the Australian Research Center in Sex, Health, and Society (ARCSHS) situated at La Trobe University in Melbourne, Australia. “This widespread belief – what we term as the ‘monogamy-superiority myth’ – is often reinforced by stereotypes and media narratives.
“Our findings challenge this long-standing assumption outside of academia, providing further evidence that people in consensually non-monogamous relationships experience similar levels of satisfaction in their relationships and sex lives as those in monogamous ones.”
Non-monogamous relationships include various types of consensual arrangements, such as open relationships, where couples maintain romantic but not sexual exclusivity, and polyamory, where several romantic relationships occur simultaneously.
As far as the researchers know, theirs is the first meta-analysis of the evidence comparing relationship and sexual satisfaction as a function of “relationship orientation,” that is, monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. In addition, they explored subgroups within the data, comparing satisfaction between heterosexual and LGBTQ+ participants, different types of non-monogamous relationships, and different dimensions of satisfaction such as trust, intimacy, or commitment. The researchers analyzed data from 35 studies – a total of 24,489 participants – conducted between 2007 and 2024 in the US, Canada, Australia, Portugal, Spain, Italy, or across multiple countries.
In terms of relationship satisfaction, the results showed that, overall, there was no significant difference between non-monogamous and monogamous individuals. And this effect didn’t differ significantly between straight and LGBTQ+ folks or when comparing non-monogamous relationship types, such as open and polyamorous relationships. A small number of studies looked at specific components of relationship satisfaction and found no significant differences between monogamous and non-monogamous individuals when it comes to commitment, intimacy, and passion.
The overall effect for differences in sexual satisfaction between monogamous and non-monogamous couples was found not to be significant, suggesting that non-monogamous people were just as satisfied with their sex lives as monogamous people. As with relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction did not differ as a function of sexual identity (straight vs LGBTQ+) or non-monogamous relationship type.
“Romantic and sexual satisfaction significantly contribute to our overall well-being,” Anderson said. “These results call into question some of the common misconceptions about non-monogamy. Despite our findings demonstrating comparable satisfaction levels, people in non-monogamous relationships often face stigma, discrimination, and barriers to accessing supportive healthcare and legal recognition.”
The researchers proposed an explanation for their findings.
“Our theory as to why these findings have occurred, perhaps, is down to what we’d argue is the most common issue in relationships – and certainly the most common factor in relationship breakdown – infidelity,” said Anderson. “People in non-monogamous relationships often have agreements with their partners that mean infidelity isn’t a relevant factor in their relationships, whereas it is naturally a heartbreaking experience for those in monogamous relationships.”
The study has limitations. Namely, that the use of self-reporting may have introduced bias and that the predominantly Western sample population means that generalizability might be limited. Despite these limitations, Anderson says the study is important for shining a light on the need for inclusivity.
“This study highlights the need for more inclusive perspectives on different relationship structures,” Anderson said. “Healthcare professionals, therapists, and policymakers must recognize and support diverse relationship structures rather than assuming monogamy as the default or ideal.”
The study was published in The Journal of Sex Research.
Source: La Trobe University
