A couple weeks ago, I pulled into the grocery-store parking lot with my three-year-old Ella and 10-month-old Emiliano…
Our trip started as a “grab the necessities” mission — bananas, yogurt, cheese and bread — the four food groups of Ella’s toddler diet. But, as we walked among the shelves, I remembered that we also needed a head of broccoli for that night’s dinner, our half-and-half was running low, and yada yada yada, we found ourselves on a full-on grocery run.
For the next 30 minutes of walking down Safeway’s fluorescent aisles, Emiliano was content holding a box of baby teething crackers, and Ella was happy riding in the cart, pretending she was driving a school bus.
And as we headed to the checkout line, I gave myself a mental pat on the back. “Way to go, chica,” I thought. “You did it. You did a grocery run BY YOURSELF with two kids. You’re nailing this mom-of-two thing.” Seconds after finishing that thought, Ella looked at me with wide eyes and said, “I have to poo.”
I soon found myself in one of Safeway’s bathroom stalls, sweating and out of breath, from bouncing a wiggly and now hungry Emiliano for the past 15 minutes as Ella used the toilet. My enthusiastic “You go girl!” was replaced with a very tired ‘Wut is lifeee,’ as I tried to hold a pissed off baby with one arm and wipe another child’s butt with the other. When I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror, I couldn’t help but laugh. “THIS IS LIFE WITH TWO KIDS UNDER FOUR,” I thought, seeing my disheveled hair and pit stains on my T-shirt.
Sometimes I daydream about fast-forwarding to “the golden years,” when both of the kids are, say, seven and ten. Old enough to give funny advice but young enough for couch snuggles. At this stage, I’ll finally be free from the parts of baby-and-toddler-land that leave me drained and foggy: middle-of-the-night nursing sessions, teething, and tear-filled meltdowns in public spaces.
But then, inevitably, my kids will interrupt my daydreams and melt my heart. Like Emiliano’s infectious baby belly laugh. Or his chubby body sacking out as I rock him to sleep. Some nights at 2 a.m., I find myself in his nursery trying to memorize how the weight of his tiny body feels in my arms.
I also love watching Ella copy our family’s mannerisms and sayings. She can now deliver an eye roll that makes me laugh (and gives me a tiny burst of pride whenever she pulls it out). And the way her toddler voice sounds when she says “I lub you” at bedtime, and “thank you…so much” after I offer her a snack — so earnest!
More and more these days, I hits me that I will MISS this chaotic but beautiful stage of parenting. Every age has its magical moments.
I’d love to know: What parenting stage are you in right now, and how is it going?
P.S. 5 tips for sibling rivalry, and the teen, the tween, the toddler and the bump.
(Photos by Jannelle Sanchez.)
